Monday, 20 April 2009
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In Fury A Shun
My brother's voice on the phone
Swearing and screaming at me
Telling me it didn't matter
That it was in the past
Yes, I know that
And I don't know
Why I want (need?) his sympathy
Or his compassion
Perhaps it's wanting
Things I know will never be
Or wanting him to be real
Letting me be real
Why is "being real"
So unsafe for my family
Why do they love living
With pink elephants?
Why does the truth
Bring so much anger
To those I love
Why do I tell them?
Will healing ever come
With them included?
Will healing ever come
With gentle words of affirmation?
Will healing ever come
With feelings of forgiveness?
Will healing ever come
Without the fury and the shun?
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Comments (3)
@SealedbyGrace - thank you for your comment and prayers. I am learning and I guess I have all the right "head knowledge" that nobody but God will go without failing me.... It's so, so hard to let go of the hope/desire for human (especially family) approval.
It is a hard thing. I've felt exactly this way too. It is hard to let go of wanting (having a hard time with words here...) those that were part of the pain to be part of the healing...? In the end I think it comes from within us and has little at all to do with those that seemed to be the cause of it. ((((HUGS))))