Just in case anyone's ever told you that there's no good use for people with pessimistic point of views....

"Bad moods can actually be good for you, with an Australian study finding that being sad make people less gullible, improves their ability to judge others and also boosts memory.

The study... showed that people in a negative mood were more critical of, and paid more attention to, their surroundings than happier people, who were more likely to believe anything they were told."

Taken from... Thinking negatively can boost your memory

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Speaking of bad moods... I've been in a funk/downward spiral for a while now.  I don't know how to get out of it. 

Yes, I've prayed. No that doesn't fix everything. Neither did going to church.  Neither did going to counseling. Neither did medicine. Neither did... (do you really want the whole stinking list?!?)

It's been almost 2 years since this hell began.

I'm so, so tired. So sad. So weak. I miss my son devastatingly so.  I don't know how to pick myself up.  (I know my son's father would rejoice in that fact.) I can't even imagine what picking myself up would even look like anymore.  I can't fathom it even in the littlest bit. 

I don't want certain people's help - because it would be out of guilt or obligation (the opposite of love). I'm angry that certain people turn a blind eye to the help that's needed - because they are supposedly healthy Christians.  But too busy with their world of comfort, mission, work, or whatever.

There are a few who would like to help... but they can't... because I know it would be taking away from the things that they need to be doing in their own life - and I don't want to feel guilty for accepting their help.

Nobody can win. Not me. Not my son. Not anyone. 

Well, perhaps my ex will/does.

came across this random xanga site today. it is fantastic (especially if you like photography, like I do).